Hey.. It's the Freakin' Weekend!

Starting Weight on January 1, 2012: 258
Current Weight on February 5, 2012: 244

Well.... I'm 14 pounds down, but I suspect that will change pretty quickly when I step on the scales next week. I struggle with actually picking the right foods to eat that have a decent amount of calories, but are otherwise healthy. I guess I need to figure it out though. Maybe my favorite site, Pinterest, will help me out. We will just have to see.

Let's see... what else has happened since I was on here last. Well, I am learning how to sew. It is definitely an adventure :) So far, I have just sewn some fancy squares together but nothing more. I will have to see if I can figure something else fun out. Once again, maybe I should get on Pinterest and figure that out too.

Also, my daughter has been recommended to be tested for ADHD. While I think it is inaccurate to why she is not paying attention, I guess I will follow through just so the teacher can't say I'm not trying. We are also working on some major behavior modification. While she is a very bright and all-around great kid, she tends to move really slow when you ask her to do things. I don't think it has to do with her attention, just her lack of willpower. She is that child that daydreams about everything. She also goes above and beyond to be uber creative. I really think that school is just boring to her. She loves the socialization, but nothing else. We will have to see how things go over the next few weeks. She can't keep failing her classwork, but then again there has to be more reasons why she has gone from being considered above average to "at risk" in all her subjects. I think she just needs some more mommy attention, and that is what she is going to get!!!

Well, it's time to wrap this weekend up, get ready for another busy week at work and another busy week at school. This is actually my last week in this class, so I can't wait to see what's next.

FAT MOM NO MORE!!!

Starting Weight on January 1, 2012: 258
Current Weight on January 23, 2012: 246

Today I'm putting myself back out there for everyone to see. You see... I'm a fat mom. I have identified myself as being a fat mom for years. There comes a time when you just deal with the weight and suck it up and keep living like there is nothing wrong. I'm done with that. Beginning January 1st, I started running with my good friend Amber. I HATE running, but I love walking quickly. I love turning on my music and just enjoying 30 minutes of walking and socializing with my friend when she isn't running laps around me. I love the night sky and just the time I get to think about the day and about the future days to come. I thought I could be a runner by using the Couck-to-5K program, but once again... I.HATE.RUNNING. I hate how my legs feel the next day when I wake up. So, walking it is.

I've also begun counting my calories each day. I have found something pretty interesting though. I don't eat enough. WHAT?!?!!? I'm sure you are wondering how someone can get their weight all the way to over 250lbs without eating. Well, from a calorie standpoint, I don't eat enough but I overeat on all the bad statistics such as carbs and sugar. I'm changing that. I have quit drinking sodas which is a HUGE sugar loader. I am also eating more whole grains. It has definitely helped get my calories a bit higher, but I'm still averaging around 900 calories each day. This is bad. Your body begins to go into starvation mode and all your calories are stored as fat and you begin to gain weight. But eating more takes time and effort. It isn't a free-for-all unfortunately.

So, that's where I am right now. I'm still a mom. I'm still in school. I'm still working fulltime. I have also taken on a girl scout troop and now my kids are in dance. This is going to be a challenge, but I'm sure I can do it!!

Wish me luck!

What the hell?

Yup. I'm still fat.
Yeah. I failed another attempt at blogging.
Uh-huh. I'm sitting on my fat ass, on the couch, playing on the internet rather than running on a treadmill.
Yes. I am still paying $56 each month for a gym membership, but I haven't been to the gym in MONTHS.

So, at least I'm being honest with everyone. I'm airing out my dirty laundry on the internet, but I guess that is what I need to do.

I gained another 5 pounds since I quit working out. That means I am back to 3 pounds lost so far this year. Ugh. This is insane.

Well tomorrow is another day, and I will definitely make it a point to try again to make it to the gym. After I eat my candy or something. After I go to the movies to see Harry Potter in IMAX 3D and chow down on some popcorn and drink a massive Dr. Pepper.

How do I get over this hump? How do I become a person who has the ability to turn down sugary goodness and actually lose weight like I am supposed to? CRAP!

Anyways, Here I am. I'm going to work on trying to start over again soon.

Ok. I suck.

I pull up my blogger on a regular basis, but I can't find the words to type. I don't want to be judged by total strangers regarding my entire life, but then again, maybe that is what I need. I need honesty in my life. I need compassion but tough love. I need someone to tell my fat ass to get off the couch and go work out.

While I love my husband with every inch of my soul, he just isn't doing that job anymore. He has an injured foot and while that didn't stop him from running around Washington D.C. during our recent vacation, it does limit him from what type of workouts he can perform and I guess because he can't perform the workouts that he wants, then there is no need for him to do anything. But who am I to judge?

So, let me reintroduce myself. My name is Robin. I'm a food-aholic. I love food. Food of all vareties. I love to eat during my free time, but most of all I love to spend time eating. When I get stressed out, I eat. When I get bored, I eat. When I am too busy to do anything, I always make time to eat. But that is changing now.

So, I'm here... trying to become "The Blog Formerly Know as The Confessions of a Fat Mom" :) Who knows, maybe I can do it :)

New Year, New Me.

Well... I fell off the weight loss track. HARD. I actually haven't seen the inside of my gym in almost 1 1/2 months, but the payment keeps coming out of my bank. Oh well. New Year, New Me.

I have survived Madisyn's birthday... Thanksgiving... Christmas... Taylor's Birthday... My Birthday... My husbands Birthday... and somewhere I actually lost 5 pounds. I guess the stress did it to me, but I'm hoping I can continue on this track.

So here are my goals for 2010.

- 50lbs lost this year
- Size 14 or smaller in jeans
- Better mental health
- Actually stay on task
- Blog at least 3 times a week

I know it seems like a lot, but I know I can do it!!! Now I just need to get started! Wish me luck.

So where did I leave off?

I'm fat.

But.... not for very long.

After my first round of blogging, I got discouraged. Instead of losing weight, I was gaining it, and rapidly. Anyways, I decided that I needed to stop for a few months and regain my composure and relearn my motivation. Then I stopped, took a look in the mirror fresh out of the shower. I wiped the steam away from the mirror and realized that my figure wasn't ruined by the foggy glass, but rather but my lifestyle over the past 10 years.

I ruined me.

I am taking charge of my life. I am taking charge of my body and my soul. So here is my plan:

- I hate diets. Instead of dieting, I'm just watching my food intake. Instead of a huge chocolate bar, I'm eating a handful of pretzles. Instead of a slice of cake, I'm eating an apple. It's working. Well.

- I have been needing time to myself for years. Now I have it. We joined a gym. Now, every night, with my Ipod in tow, I work out. I strap down the sagging, fleshy things that once resembled boobs with two bras, squeeze into my workout pants and drive to my new second home. Xertion fitness. It rocks! I think I might take some pictures of it tonight :) I love my gym!!!

- I'm staying away from my scale. My biggest demotivator was the flashing numbers on the scale. Every morning I would hop on, only to be depressed by the increasing numbers. Now, I only weigh one time per week. I have something to look forward to right now.

Last week was 246.4. I'll be down to 200 soon. I'm ready to tell Lane Bryant goodbye and go back into the Buckle to buy some jeans!!! Wish me luck!

Humiliation from someone I should trust

Created by MyFitnessPal - Free Food Diary

As some of you might have heard, I had an absolutely eye-opening, humiliating doctor's appt on Friday. Basically my physician belittled me and told me that the only way I could lose weight would be to go to weight watchers. He was plugging WW the entire 15 minutes. I was horrified when he told me I was his "biggest" patient. I know I am not, but it still mortified me to hear that come out of his mouth. So, I decided to change. I'm going to really start working out every night.. track my food and get my husband and kids to do this with me! Wish me luck!